Let’s talk about Facebook shall we?

I’ll admit it…I’m a defender of Facebook.  I like it.  I like seeing pictures of my grandkids and keeping up with what is going on with them.  I like keeping up on the lives of my friends and what their grandchildren are doing.  I like the positive news items and the helpful way it reaches out to millions of people at a moments notice.  I like finding friends from way back when and touching base again…not enough to actually make an effort to get together or anything but I’m nosy…I like knowing what’s going on in the world. 

But I’m finding there’s no real “etiquette” when it comes to Facebook.  It’s kind of anonymous…but not really.  We’re not face to face so you don’t have to see my initial reaction to your post and I have time to think about how I’m going to (or not going to respond).  Kind of like letter writing used to be but much more immediate…and permanent.  I mean, a letter could always be destroyed…the Internet is FOREVER.

So…here are a few of the things that I’m getting sick of on Facebook (or social media in general).  Feel free to add your own.  Maybe one day you’ll have to read all these things and take a test before you can get a Facebook account.  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA…oh sorry.  Yeah well I can dream right?

1. Please do not leave some esoteric, mysterious, drama filled post with no real details and then get your panties in a wad because I didn’t comment.  I am too old for that shit.  If you’ve got something to say then say it.  If you want my opinion ask me (believe me…I’ll give it to you).  I am not going to respond to drama.  I’ve worked very hard in my life to rid myself of drama, I will not allow a stupid post on social media to violate that moritorium.
2. And while we’re on that topic, if you post something, I will likely comment if I have something to say.  If you don’t want comments then say so in the post.  Then again, if you don’t want anyone to comment, don’t put the fucking post up!  Facebook is about posts and comments…that’s the way it’s designed.  I just had to unfriend my son’s girlfriend because I commented on a post she made that had me concerned.  She lost her shit!  She posts because it helps her deal but doesn’t want anyone to comment.  This is Facebook honey.  They make things to help you cope with stuff that comes up in your life, they’re called journals.  Buy one.  Use it.  Forget Facebook and other forms of social media including blogs.  People comment.  They care.  Deal.
3. I make mistakes when I type…everyone does.  Especially when typing on my phone or when I’m in a rush.  I make mistakes on my blog from time to time (cough…often…cough), but I notice that more and more people just don’t care.  Here’s a clue to all you young people out there (younger than me that is…which is most of the population), employers are stalking your social media.  Learn to spell (or utilize spell check), figure out tenses, work on your pronouns.  At the very least use social media to practice the difference between your and you’re.  Pretend it’s school and concentrate on their, they’re and there.  No one wants to hire someone whose LinkedIn profile is full of errors.  I promise it matters…and not just to your parents.
4. And while we’re on that subject.  Take your naked, booze fueled, nasty self off the internet.  If you wouldn’t show it to your grandmother then don’t show it to the world.  I know it’s been said time and time again but I really have to throw it into this discussion.  Your college frat party antics may be funny at the time but they won’t be when you lose a job because a future employer disapproves (doesn’t really matter if it’s right or wrong…it’s a fact).  You may not even know it’s happening but if you find yourself getting turned down for a number of jobs, you may want to clean up your profile. 
5. Don’t think that getting hired changes that.  HAHAHAHAHA.  It’s even more important to keep your shit off the internet after you get the job.  It’s no fun to sit in an office and have your boss turn his or her screen around to show you why they are firing you.  Once you’re in the real world your behavior is a reflection on your employer – keep it clean people.
6. Oh and by the way…even though we’re old and we hang on Facebook which is like so last WEEK…we know where you hang.  Do you know why?  Because we hire people YOUR AGE whose only job is to keep up on what social media is hot and where you’re posting all your nasty ass stuff.  Trust me.  We KNOW.
7. Back to the old people and Facebook.  Why isn’t there a Dislike button?  Where is the “thumbs down”?  So many times there’s a post that I want to acknowledge but it seems so inappropriate to click “Like”.  “I’m really going to miss my grandfather.  He was the only dad I ever knew.”  LIKE!  NOOOOOO.  I want to acknowledge that I’ve read it and that I empathsize or at least sympathize but I don’t want to leave a comment because…well…you’re not really my friend.  You’re kind of a friend of Uncle Lou twice removed so…well…you really don’t know me but your post was so sad that I feel the need to do something!  Come on Zuckerberg…would it be THAT hard?  Really?

Okay…end of rant.  So what gets your boxers in a bunch about social media?

Namaste