WW and Sleep Numbers

My daughter and her kids (kids…HA…one starts college in the fall, one is a rising senior and her son has grown 4 inches since I saw him a Christmas and sounds like James Earl Jones when he speaks…sigh) came to visit this weekend and they were just what I needed to recharge my batteries and get in some much needed hugs. My daughter and I chatted about Weight Watchers which she joined in April and which I joined last March. Unlike me, who stopped my membership in late May, she has continued and to date has dropped 30 pounds. She looks phenomenal.

And I am totally jealous.

We laughed because I said that I had only lost 15 lbs. in approximately the same amount of time and that I hated her. To be fair I have kept it off since quitting amid my craziest work time of the year filled with catering and evening events so there’s that. (Lame, I know.) It was also serendipitous that she showed up looking so good because I was just telling the hubs last week that it was time for me to get back to meetings, eating well and tracking. So on Saturday night I signed up again.

Then I proceeded to eat my face off.

Saturday, Sunday and even Monday (I had the day off) consisted of nothing but sugar, sugar and more sugar in my belly. We had a vanilla pound cake brought home on Friday…breakfast, snack, lunch. There were chocolate chip cookies in the cabinet that the hubs keeps to nosh on (because HE can moderate)…snack and lunch and snack. And lest you think I didn’t eat ANYTHING healthy I had dinner on Saturday night which is this buffalo chicken pasta casserole that is to die for and I had seconds. I never have seconds. And come to think of it, it really isn’t THAT healthy since I used regular pasta and full fat cheese. Then yesterday I ate a pint of Ben & Jerry’s…all by myself.

I’m paying for all that poor eating.  I have felt like crap these last few days. Sluggish. Headachy. Aches and pains. Just plain yucky. It happens when I fill my body with poison. But when I eat well I feel…well…WELL. So off we go. We’ll see where it takes me but at least I’ll be eating well and have some accountability. Plus the app is really cool.

Any of you ever slept on a Sleep Number bed? I have – twice. Once I was drunk so who knows how I slept but once I was dead sober and I can honestly say it was the best night’s sleep I have ever had. It was about 5 or so years ago but I’ve never forgotten how good I felt the next morning. Now it’s time for the hubs and me to buy a new mattress. We’ve been nursing ours along for the last two years or so with toppers and sleeping on the actual hard side of the mattress but now my hips are killing me at night (side sleeper) and I’m just not sleeping well so we’ve begun shopping.

Before I move on, I’d like to say that I hate mattress shopping. I’d rather shop for bathing suits and jeans than shop for mattresses. They are ALL over priced. The industry is rigged so that it is impossible to comparison shop and there is no way that 30 seconds on a mattress is going to tell you whether or not you’ll be able to sleep. In a word or three?  It sucks ass.

Anyway, we’re looking at a couple of options.

Casper mattresses – These are foam mattresses that come in a box, delivered to your door. We’ve toyed with the idea of a memory foam mattress for years after enjoying a memory foam topper on our bed which neither of us thought we would since they can be hot and we sleep COLD. Casper has some cooling technology that is supposed to eliminate some of that. Bottom line is that they are affordable at $950 for a king size mattress and, and this is the best part, you can sleep on it for 120 days and if you don’t like it, they will come to your home and take it away and refund your money. No questions asked. That is a sweet deal. If any of you have any info on these mattresses I’d love to hear it.
The Original Mattress Company – Here in the Carolinas we have this mattress company that physically makes all their mattresses right here. Plus, most of their mattresses are two sided which means they can be flipped and rotated which, if you’re older than dirt like I am, you remember from back in the day. It prolongs the life of the mattress and keeps you sleeping like you did when it was new. They are also quite affordable. We purchased a set for each of our twins this year and the oldest at home purchased a set for himself in the spring. A king sized, mid-range set (box springs included) runs between $900 and $1200. Still very affordable in mattress land BUT, once you’ve taken delivery you own the mattress. They have an exchange policy but honestly it’s not really worth the paper on which it’s written. With this option, we’d better be sure we freaking LOVE this mattress before we leave the store.
The Sleep Number Bed – Like I said…best night’s sleep ever. We spent 90 minutes with this sales lady and I’m sure she thinks we’re coming back to buy this mattress but let me be clear here, while they have a semi-affordable version of a mattress at about $2200 for a king size, the version she wanted us to go home with was…wait for it…OVER $8000!!! And that wasn’t even top of the line! The best of the best was over $14,000! She kept stressing that this was a 25 year purchase and that we’d never have to buy another mattress. No kidding! In 25 years I’ll be 80 and the hubs will be 93! We’ll be lucky if we can FIND the bed much less sleep in it!

I’m not sure which option we’ll choose but you can bet your sweet ass it won’t be an $8000 bed.


Did ya ever have one of those days?

Barbados cottage

Today has been one of those days when I dream of cashing it all in and running a rum cart on the beaches of Barbados.

Except I don’t drink.

And I burn.

BUT – some days…

From time to time, especially when stress is at its peak, I sit back and wonder what my life would be like if I sold everything I own and moved to an island to live in a hut with one bedroom, a hotplate, an outdoor shower and one indoor bathroom.  No phone, no lights, no motorcar.  Not a single luxury.  You know, like Robinson Crusoe…as primitive as can be.


I mean just imagine it.  A tiny little cottage, inland of course – away from the hurricanes, with very few earthly belongings.  No debt.  Markets with fresh food everyday.  Bikes to get around on or public transportation.   I could waitress or work in a market or a library or even teach in an island school.  The hubs could tend bar or just putter around the house.  We could get to know each other again without Fox News getting in the way.  No commute to suck 90 minutes out of each week day.  Yoga on the beach at dawn.  Asleep when the sun goes down.  REAL conversation or NO conversation – whatever works.

Barbados market

Oh my GOD!  I might not ever have to wear a bra again!!!

Okay…let’s not get crazy.  No one is seeing me without a bra.

Or makeup.

Uh-oh…I’m going to need to bring my makeup.  And my shoes…I’ll need some of my shoes.  And my handbags…can’t go anywhere without them.

We are going to need a slightly bigger house.  Where is my family going to stay if we only have a small cottage?  So two, maybe three bedrooms.  Okay four…I’ll need four bedrooms.  With four bedrooms we’re going to need more bathrooms.  One bathroom for all those people will NOT work.  So at least two bathrooms…and a powder room.  Yeah, a powder room too.

Since I’m bringing my makeup I’m going to need a way to get more if I run out.  That means we’ll need internet service.  If we get internet we might as well bundle it with satellite TV – that will be good for the kids.  And if we have internet and TV we might as well throw in some cell phones right?  That way we can Facetime with the kids and the grands when they aren’t visiting our island paradise.

Damn…I’m going to need a better paying job.

Well, crap…I might as well just stay put.

Wait…what just happened?




Bye Felecia…I mean Facebook

I signed off of Facebook this week…for good.  I’ve taken breaks before only to hear the siren call of grandkids’ pictures, recipes, decorating tips and updates on old high school friends that have me running back to that little blue square on my phone.  Once I’ve clicked it I’m hooked and before I know it I’m clicking Like and commenting on cat videos.

Okay…maybe not the last one but you get the idea.

For about a year now I’ve noticed an alarming trend among my “friends” of which I’ve been turning a blind eye.  Comments and stories shared and reactions to media have become more and more vicious and ugly.  It’s not that I don’t agree with their views, because sometimes I actually do agree with their opinion, it’s the vitriol with which they choose to share it.

For example, the other day, when the FBI decided not to pursue prosecution of Hillary, my friend posted this, “Hillary is a cunt.”

Wait…you kiss your grandchildren with that mouth?

And before you all say anything I am fully aware that on this blog I am a big, fat potty mouth; but, and this is a big but, my grandchildren do not read this blog and even if they did, they would not know it was me.  And this was just a taste of what I’ve read over that last year or so.  People who I thought held an open mind about things have been gay bashing, racial profiling, unfriending each other and glorifying others and I’m left with one thought…

What.  The.  Fuck.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like Hillary Clinton any more than I liked her misogynistic husband.  Her ambition frightens me and I’m very disappointed that when my gender finally gets a shot at the Oval, it’s her.  But I am not going to reduce my debates to Trump like name calling (I don’t like him either – I will be writing in Condoleezza Rice this fall – not even kidding about that) preferring instead to simply discuss the reason why I do not think she’ll be a good president.  You know…discuss the issues – her views on healthcare and the budget.  The fact that she used a personal server to send confidential, government correspondence.  The fact that her plans for the economy are going to tax the living hell out of me and, once again, they’ll be more pork in that legislation than in all of the Mid-West of the U.S.

Issues people.

Then my other friend, who never said a PEEP about Orlando or Philandro chooses instead to post a highly one sided article about the police shooting in Dallas and comment, “This shit has got to stop.”  Ya think?  It needs to stop for everyone!  Not just the ones with which you side.  Shootings and anger and hate and rage have got to stop for EVERYONE.  Why do people believe they can reduce an issue as complicated and divisive as what’s going on with the police and African Americans (not just males…it’s happens to women too) to a tiny little paragraph chock full of anger, resentment and ugliness?  Tell me…what in the WORLD is that going to do?  If you’re angry, no matter what your views, CALL YOUR CONGRESSMAN, MEET WITH YOUR LOCAL POLICE, MEET WITH YOUR DISTRICT ATTORNEY…DO something!  We all have opinions on these matters and Facebook CAN be a place in which to vent and/or debate but hate is hate is hate is hate no matter which app it hides behind.  It’s ugly.  It’s damaging.  It serves no purpose.

Some people have asked me to reconsider and just unfriend those who offend but for me, it’s not enough.  It’s almost gotten to the point that after I scroll through my feed (over which, thanks to Mr. Zuckerberg I no longer have any control) I feel like I need a shower.  People have every right to say whatever they want on their Facebook feed and, like the old saying goes, I’ll defend to the death their right to say it – but I don’t have to read it.  I don’t have to get my heart broken.  I don’t have to walk away from my computer even more depressed and disillusioned that I was before I sat down.

So I’m finished.  What’s scary is how much I miss it and how often I pick up my phone and look for the little blue app with the big F on it but my son, who signed off a couple of years ago, says that will go away after awhile.  I still have Instagram to get pics of the grands and I’m trying to learn Snapchat (that sentence alone makes me feel OLD) so I’ll get my fix of social media but for now I’m going old school.  I’ll use my phone for what phones should be used for…

…watching porn. 😉




Staying Home

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In April we decided that we should put our house on the market since housing prices in my area were rising and maybe, JUST MAYBE, after nine long years we were right side up in our mortgage. We started working on all the things that needed to be done but that we just couldn’t seem to ever find time to do. Cleaning and decluttering things like closets and laundry rooms. Finally cleaning out the garage. Painting the upstairs bedrooms and hall bathroom. Finishing the pergola and deck out back. When we held our open house in early May our home sparkled like when it was new and had those touches that a well-cared for and well-loved home has.

That’s when the doubts began creeping in.

I know this happens a lot. When you put your house on the market you do all the things you always wanted to do to the house and then when it’s all finally complete – you fall in love with your house all over again. Still I was convinced we needed to downsize and get a new house. I looked and looked and saw some amazing homes but I failed to fall in love. I honestly could not find anything on the market that I loved more than the home we already had. Add to that the fact that because everyone and their brother decided to sell at the same time and you have an answer to the question, “Why didn’t we get any offers?” Lots of showings. Lots of great feedback. No offers. We were priced right…I keep a close eye on that, but no offers. Hmmm…why? But I knew why. I knew the real answer. The real answer was that we weren’t supposed to move. The universe wasn’t ready for us to leave this house.

That’s not as creepy as it sounds. It’s not an Amityville thing…it’s a spiritual thing. About 20 years ago the hubs and I decided to put our house (a different house) on the market and look for a bigger home. We had four little boys and my mom had just moved in with us and we were cramped. All I could think was that if we were cramped now when they were all little munchkins, what in the world was it going to be like when they were all six feet tall with size 12 feet? So we put the house on the market, found another house and put a contingent contract on it and…


Not only did we not get an offer, we didn’t even get a showing! After 90 days we cancelled the other contract, took the house off the market and called it a day. Five years later we found my dream home on Maryland’s Eastern Shore that I HAD to have. We put a contract on that house (non-contingent…what?) and put ours on the market.

It sold in 48 hours. No open house. Showings while we were home. Multiple offers. It was crazy.

And it was meant to be.

So while I was having my doubts I kept thinking that maybe God or the Universe or whatever didn’t want us to move. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. As per usual during my morning prayers in the shower I asked God to send me a sign.

That Saturday my husband went upstairs to take a shower and I went to run errands. Two hours later I came home and went into the garage…where it was raining. Yes, it was raining IN my garage. After about 20 seconds of investigation we discovered that the hubs left the water running in the sink (with the stopper in) and didn’t know it. My bedroom carpet was a swimming pool. We immediately began moving furniture and pulling up carpet and padding. It was all sopping wet. We got fans going on the sub floor and removed the dry wall and insulation from the garage ceiling. Then I made two phone calls. One to the insurance company (thank God it was covered) and one to the realtor putting everything on hold.

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At first I was distraught…how in the world would I get this fixed so we could get the house sold? Then I thought…hmmm…I’m getting new carpet. I’ll take that as a sign!

Just like that a weight came off my shoulders and a peace came over me (selling your house is stressful!) The hubs and I decided to stay and I couldn’t be happier. This may not be the house I would have picked out when we moved to this area (the hubs and the kids picked it out) and there may be things I’d still like to improve about it (new appliances and countertops) but there’s one thing it is that no other house out there is…

…it’s home.