smh*

Recently I developed an eating plan for myself because I was tired of eating crap, tired of gaining weight and just plain tired.  It’s a very simple plan.  I call it the 4by3plus2.  Basically I made a list of whole foods that I like, scoured the internet for recipes and ideas and created a spreadsheet with meals and snacks.  4 meals a day, 300 calories or less each plus a 200 calorie snack at the end of the day.  I shoot for between 1200-1500 calories a day and with only two exceptions have stuck to it.

There are no hard and fast rules except that if it goes in my mouth I have to count it.  I try to only eat whole foods. stay away from anything processed (including lunch meat…yuck), choose whole grains, limit sugar (including sweetners like Truvia and Agave) and stay away from any and all fast food (which I already do anyway).  That’s it!  I still get my coffee with creamer, my diet sodas and, if I have a craving, I can eat it provided it falls within the 4by3plus2 range.

Essentially – I’m just making smart food choices.  It ain’t rocket science people.

It’s been awesome.  I’m in week 4 and I feel great.  I even lost a few pounds although I don’t really give a shit anymore.  If I lose some weight – GREAT!  If I don’t?  Fuck it.  As long as I’m on a healthy path, I’m good.

Here’s what makes me smh though.

Today I got caught short at work because I ate my yellow bell pepper after my salad when I should have saved it for my veggies and dip snack later in the day.  So when 3:30 rolled around and my stomach was growling I didn’t have anything to shut it up.  Hmmm…what to do?

We have a little convenience store on the first floor of our building so I went down and picked up a Nature’s Valley Protein Bar.  190 calories, 10 grams of protein – awesome!

I brought it back upstairs, poured my diet Pepsi and bit into my protein bar.

And I got happy.

I’m not talking about shut your stomach up happy or settle in for the last couple hours of work happy.  I’m talking about endorphins kicking in, first glass of wine, just after sex happy.  At that moment I knew that all was right with the world.

smh

Let’s get something straight.  I know I’m an addict and that particular part of me is also addicted to sugar…and this “protein bar” was loaded with sugar (6 grams).  I also went into it with my eyes wide open…I knew I was going to eat it and want MORE.  It’s just how I roll.  But this is the first time that I was able to actually pinpoint those happy hormones doing their dance in my synapses. 

It blew my mind and, to be honest, scared me just a little bit. 

So I’ll go back to avoiding all that processed, preserved and sugared up food and just stick with my healthy and whole foods and if I get caught short again…well…I’ll find a tree and chew on some bark or something.

Namaste

*text speak for “shake my head”