Down 1 pound…right on target. If I can maintain a one pound per week loss then I will reach my goal (or just 2 lbs shy – big whup) by the end of the year. To me, that not only feels doable, it feels peaceful. Still a quiet determination.
I’m reading another book, It Was Me All Along by Andie Mitchell. Here’s the Amazon description:
“A heartbreakingly honest, endearing memoir of incredible weight loss by a young food blogger who battles body image issues and overcomes food addiction to find self-acceptance.
All her life, Andie Mitchell had eaten lustily and mindlessly. Food was her babysitter, her best friend, her confidant, and it provided a refuge from her fractured family. But when she stepped on the scale on her twentieth birthday and it registered a shocking 268 pounds, she knew she had to change the way she thought about food and herself; that her life was at stake.
It Was Me All Along takes Andie from working class Boston to the romantic streets of Rome, from morbidly obese to half her size, from seeking comfort in anything that came cream-filled and two-to-a-pack to finding balance in exquisite (but modest) bowls of handmade pasta. This story is about much more than a woman who loves food and abhors her body. It is about someone who made changes when her situation seemed too far gone and how she discovered balance in an off-kilter world. More than anything, though, it is the story of her finding beauty in acceptance and learning to love all parts of herself.”
While Ted Spiker’s book Down Size showed me a way to reach my goals by uncovering my own truths and facing my sexual abuse head on (that’s an entirely different post that I will address…sometime), Andie’s book has opened my eyes to the fact that I need to make peace with food and the role it has in my life.
Like her, I have never had a normal relationship with food. Food has never been just sustenance for me. While I don’t emotionally feel I’m using (and have used) food for comfort and to numb my feelings, intellectually I know that this is the case and her book helped to confirm it for me. All I can say is thank God I found a great therapist because working through all of this may take a while.
From her alcoholic father (that hit so close to home I had to put down the book from time to time and catch my breath) to her obsessive calorie counting and exercise to her battle with undiagnosed depression, her journey is my journey. I hope mine turns out as well as hers. Thank you Andie.
And, TA-DA, my treadmill arrived this morning!!!! My husband and son are going to put it together for me today and I’ll walk/run on it for the first time tonight. I am SO EXCITED!!! I’ll post a pic of my baby as soon as I can. 😉
Finally, I ordered a wellness journal from Amazon which, coincidentally (?) is due to arrive today as well. I’m going to use it to set small, attainable goals (as well as the big one at the end of the year) and also record my workouts and food and moods to see if any patterns emerge. I’ll let you know if I uncover anything.
PS – If you’re interested in following Andie, she blogs at Can You Stay for Dinner.