First, and most importantly, today I am wearing a pair of jeans that, two weeks ago, were incredibly uncomfortable. So much so that I had to wear a big flowing top and do the “rubber band trick” on the button. (You know what that is right? It’s when you loop a rubber band through the button-hole of your pants and then around the button itself. Depending on the rubber band it can give you an extra 1/2″ to 1″. Those rubber bands that come on broccoli at the supermarket are perfect for this.) Today they are not only comfortable but a little baggy. Yesterday I had to tighten my belt twice because the pants I was wearing were threatening to leave my body – and not in a good way.
I’ve also started working out in…wait for it…the morning. GASP! I know…I’ve tried before and given up but the fact that this treadmill is right in my bedroom and that basically all I have to do is put on a bra and shoes is definitely a bonus. Plus, I just get home too late at night to do the nightly workout that’s been my staple all of my adult life.
But things change.
When I was 16 I wanted to take off some weight (well – since puberty I’ve wanted to “take off some weight”) so I bought a record album of exercises that came with a wall chart so you could see how to do them (yes…I’m old…don’t judge). I fell in love with it. Over the years that morphed into gyms and aerobics classes (Jazzercise anyone?) and personal trainers and lots and lots of VHS tapes and then later, DVD’s. My library was extensive and for a while I belonged to a kind of “club” where you could trade videos you’d grown tired of or that were not a good fit for you. Working out at home to videos with Kathy Smith, Karen Voight and Petra Kolber (to name a few) became my fitness routine and lasted for about 20 years.
After I got sober and started thinking about getting back into shape (one other than the one I’m currently in) I dusted off those old tapes and DVD’s and got to work. The problem was that where they once energized me and made me happy, they now bored me and made me feel bad about myself. So I stopped using them and started my search for my next fitness path.
One thing that has never changed in all my life is that I love to walk. I will walk anywhere for ridiculous amounts of time. My normal gait is at about 2.7 mph (yeah…it’s hard for people to keep up) but I’ve been known to walk as fast as 4.2 mph if I’m really pushing it. I prefer walking outside but when I’m out there I tend to walk slower and just enjoy the outdoors. I can listen to some “beat” music and match the pace – but for me, having earbuds in takes the joy out of my walk. (Plus if I’m in an unfamiliar city it’s dangerous because I need to be aware of my surroundings at all times…you can take the girl out of the hood but you can’t take the hood out of the girl.)
Which is why this treadmill is such a godsend. Last weekend, after my run-in with my compassionate boss (yes…that WAS sarcasm) I feeling pretty low so I did what I love to do – I walked. First on the treadmill and then outside with the dogs. Saturday and Sunday I exercised self-care and just…walked. I didn’t try to run or match any pace or even care if I sweat. I just moved my feet.
And it was glorious.
So this week I’ve been getting up early and walking first thing in the morning which sets the “pace” (HA!) for my day. I’ve decided that if I never learn to run that’s okay…I can walk. If I never run another race (5K, 4-miler, half marathon) that’s okay…I can walk it. If I never fire up my c25K app again that’s okay…I can walk while binge watching TV series and let the iFit application on my treadmill do the work (and make ME work in the process).
I’m happy with this program. I logged food all week and did pretty damn well I think. I walked and walked and walked…with my own unique brand of quiet determination.
And that is perfectly imperfect…and just enough.
Stats: 74, 442 steps for 30.9 miles – 10,635 daily average steps – 4.41 daily average miles.