There Are No Coincidences

Sometimes things just come together and leave you scratching your head and thinking, “Well fuck me naked!  That could never happen again in a million years!”

That happened to me this weekend.

As you are well aware, I’m trying to get my shit together this year in some old (nutrition and exercise) and new (therapy) ways.  That means there’s a lot of work to do in the inside as well as the outside.  In fact, the longer I’m into this navel gazing, the more I realize that if I don’t get the inside right the outside will never be right no matter what it looks like.

I know I know…DUH.

Anyway, I was getting ready to take the dogs on a long walk Sunday so I decided to find a podcast to listen to during our journey.  I wanted one by Brene’ Brown but it turns out Brene’ doesn’t do her own podcasts.  However, while looking I found this woman Koren Motekaitis who does a regular podcast called “How She Really Does It”.  I scrolled down the hundreds of recordings until my eyes landed on one that said “Weight Loss After Menopause”.  Well, well, well I thought…this is right up my alley.

I had no idea.

I swear to you this woman being interviewed could have been me.  Seems that Koren is a life coach who conducts a “circle” on weight loss from time to time (www.howshereallydoesit.com ) and this woman she was interviewing was part of one of her former circles.  Everything that came out of that woman’s mouth felt like my words.  From her struggles with typical “diets” (they don’t work) to her conclusion that she had to get in touch with why she ate her emotions (therapy) to her preferred form of movement (walking).  It was really kind of spooky.

As I listened to her discuss how she took off 30 pounds I realized that my gut has been right all along (pun intended).  If I can learn to listen to what my body wants and needs I can work toward recognizing and then making peace with the emotions and feelings that send me to the pantry in search of salt or sugar, and then maybe I can find my body’s natural weight and perhaps, along the way, make peace with food.

Huge run on sentence and even huge-er goal.

Of course all of the above assumes that I can cut through all the crap I tell myself on a regular basis and create a kinder and more compassionate dialog with myself.

That’s where the second half of my day kicks in…

As I mentioned in a previous post, I’m doing Brene’ Brown’s e-course that accompanies her book, “The Gifts of Imperfection” (www.oprah.com/brenebrowncourse).  I’m on week three of six and its been extraordinary thus far.  This week did not disappoint.  I don’t want to give anything away in case you’re thinking of going through the course but suffice to say my biggest takeaway from week three was this…

“I will talk to myself the same way I talk to the people I love.” ~Brene’ Brown

Just another version of what one of my good friends once said to me when I was using my patented self-deprecating humor.

“Never say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to your best friend.” ~Sherry’s Friend Patricia

Hear that?

That’s the sound of the brick God threw landing upside my head.

“There are no coincidences.  Only Divine bricks chucked from above.” ~Sherry

Hear that?  No?

That’s the sound of quiet determination.

Namaste

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19 thoughts on “There Are No Coincidences

  1. That was a hugely powerful exercise in the course for me as well.
    I often go back to that page-my picture of myself as a child-and remember that is me. I need to love the current me as much as I love her innocence and potential.

    1. Oh Anne that is so true! Part of my therapy is to nurture that little girl since she didn’t receive any as a child so going back and looking at those pictures and speaking to her the way I speak to my own children has been nothing short of profound for me.

      Sherry

  2. Dear Sherry,
    I read that book, but now need to take the course! I wonder how we have come to hate parts of ourselves so much. Now I am finally at a weight I like, but lament about my old lady skin! Yikes!
    But then, I can hear my mom talk about how old she looks. (Well she is 89! LOL)
    I love what our friends across the pond say. They are very funny!
    xo
    Wendy

    1. I just couldn’t get into the book but now with the course it’s really coming alive and meaning something to me! People have been telling me for a long time that I should read it – guess they knew what they were talking about.

      Thanks Wendy,
      Sherry

  3. “Well, fucked me naked” – hilarious.
    Never a truer word was said that in order to be at peace with our outsides we must love what’s inside. It’s inside us, our inner essence, that matters. The rest will follow, garanteed.

  4. Once again, “seek and ye shall find”….its truly remarkable how this coincidence thang functions…love you baby…

  5. Well, obviously I love this post, because the tagline of my blog is the title (There Are No Coincidences)!

    Such great advice, so simple and yet not so easy: talking to yourself the way you would talk to someone you love. I am working on it, and just found myself yelling back to the negative self-talk this very morning (I am allowed to yell at the Negativity, because she is no longer welcome). So for me it’s almost a two-pronged deal: banish negativity, THEN work on the kinder self-talk.

    Some people need to take things S-L-O-W-L-Y. But that’s okay, because TITGU 🙂

  6. Great post, SHerry. I still have that problem of speaking kindly to myself. I get my moments where I am kind to myself, but it’s just plain weird…lol. But I love how this is starting to work for you, esp. the workshop thing there. You are making it sound intruiging…may have to try here too. And yes! No coincidences. Another bonk on the head by God 🙂

    1. It does sound weird but we all have to find our own way of doing it. I could no more say, “I love you Sherry” than I could eat nails. But telling the negative voices to “shut the fuck up” really does work so, for now, that’s what I do.

      Whatever blows your hair back right?

      Sherry

  7. Girl, you always make me smile. 🙂

    Thank you for the insight. I am going to work on being kinder to myself too. I just started reading “The Gifts of Imperfection”….and it hits home big time.

    “Fuck me naked”…..totally stealing that one. 😉

    1. I think that book hits home for a lot of people. Probably why its such a best seller – duh Sherry. And you are welcome to that little phrase – it’s one of my favorites.

      Sherry

  8. I love your quote “If you don’t get the inside right, the outside will never be right no matter what it looks like”. I just sent it to a friend who’s struggling with her body. She’s asked me to coach her. What I’ve been telling her everyday is this ….
    **Feed your body with love….. Be present when you are eatng anything and ask yourself if this is feeding your body with love and health?
    Have you read “Return to Love” by Marianne Williamson,! I just bought the book and it’s fabulous. She teaches us that we can wake up everyday and choose to live in love or in fear ….and we all have this powerful freedom to choose! Do I want to live in love? Do I want to live in fear? I remind myself every morning that I’m going to live in love….spread love to other and love myself through my actions…what I eat…how I treat my body….. Keeps me grounded. Keeps me free.
    Hugs! Xo

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