Befriending Myself



Thanks to all who commented, encouraged and kicked my ass on Friday.  I truly did not realize how negative I was being which is amazing to me since I’m always the most positive person in the room!  I’m the one that you want to punch in the throat because, no matter what, I can find the good in any situation.

Apparently except when it applies to me…then I go all bad ass on myself.

But I heard what you said and I’ve pulled myself up by my bootstraps and come up with a new plan for these next six weeks.


Clearly I need to be accountable so I will continue to track my calories.  My Fitness Pal really works for me so I will continue to use it.  I will also pledge to track EVERYTHING I eat.  It seems that I sometimes “forget” to enter things and then stand back in wonderment when I haven’t lost any weight or when my pants feel snug.  Not acceptable.  If I bite it, lick it or drink it I will log it.  (I should put that shit on a t-shirt yo…nah…now that I read it again…oh never mind.)

My goal is to stay between 1200-1500 calories a day.  It really is plenty of food for me BUT, if I find I’m hungry I will ask myself, “Could I eat an apple?”  If the answer is no, then I know I’m not hungry.  If the answer is yes…well then I’ll eat a damn apple!  I’m not a big fan of fruit so the “apple test” is one that works for me.


As Paige so beautifully pointed out in the comments on Friday, I love my treadmill.  I really, really do.  I’m going to get on it every day except Saturday and Sunday unless the weather is ugly.  Here’s how…

  • Increase my daily steps to 12,000 per day.  I’ve exceeded 10,000 a day for the last 6 weeks so it’s time to up the ante.
  • M-W-F:  Walk at 3.3 mph (I’m at about 3.2 mph walking now so taking it up a little is warranted – I may even play with the incline) for at least 60 minutes or until I hit 12,000 steps.
  • T-Th:  Run on the treadmill using my C25K app.  I’m starting it over now that I have new shoes and after the 30 minute run I’ll continue by walking until I’ve hit 60 minutes or 12,000 steps.
  • Saturday:  Run outside with my second c25K app and the dogs (adds a bit of drama to the run).  I’m not worried about speed as much as I am endurance.
  • Sunday:  Yoga.  I’ve not been very good about “hitting the mat” for a while now.  My subconscious knows it doesn’t burn calories so I tend to shy away.  In addition, I hate the way my body feels in certain poses.  However, yoga is vital to my sanity and well being, so I’m going to do it at least once a week.  If I know me, I’ll be craving it by week two and by week four I’ll have to get up early to do sun salutations before dawn.  Just typing that out loud makes my body relax.


The negativity in me has to end.  Several years ago, I was having lunch with a very sweet friend.  She heard me saying something negative about myself and she stopped me and said, “It hurts me when I hear you say things like that.  You should never say anything about yourself that you wouldn’t say to your best friend.  ”

So I’m going to make an effort to be my own best friend for the next six weeks.  That means treating myself with kindness, compassion, forgiveness and love – something I’m not very good at but that I know is essential to the success of this journey to health that I’m on.

Oh, the scale?  Motherfucker is in the trash (metaphorically speaking – hubs wouldn’t let me toss it so I’m putting it in the garage where the men go to play).  It lies and makes me feel bad about myself and I am more than a number.  Period.

As I said to my friend today, this is too important to give up on.

And so…with every fiber of my being I say to you this evening…



28 thoughts on “Befriending Myself

  1. Namaste!
    Those are some pretty specific plans.
    But I’d say see how it goes and change as required! Life might get in the way.

    Weight loss is 90% food. Exercise is almost irrelevant. So if yoga might give you a mental boost I would definitely find a place for it.


  2. love it…the greatest news is that yo heard us, and I know, at least for me, that writing that to you, about being so hard on yourself, really helped me too.
    We are all so hard on ourselves, i don’t know why…that’s just the way most of us humans are built i think. recognizing that and working towards changing that dynamic is key…..everything else will follow.

  3. I love my yoga practice!
    I think self-compassion and positive self talk are huge!
    I hope you had a good day!

  4. LOL! “If I bite it, lick it or drink it I will log it.” HA!

    I was doing so well with logging on MFP, but then I fell off the bandwagon when I wanted to eat cake & cookies and was too ashamed to log in. Shall we hold each other accountable?

    1. Liker virkelig bloggen din! Skulle gjerne hatt den for ett år siden da jeg reiste endel og kommer definitivt til å fortsette å følge med for jeg elsker elsker å reise jeg har reist endel, men ble skikkelig misunnelig på deg nå!Du burde ta turen til Florida, det var mye bedre enn jeg forventet også var det jo som du sier eventyrland for voksne der, ett stort pluss!

  5. Great way to talk to yourself. I did not notice the tone of your last post but I am prone to negative self talk too so that’s probably why.

    1. My husband didn’t notice it either but he’s using to my rants so maybe that’s why. Doesn’t matter though because I did need to switch the way I was approaching everything. It worked.


  6. I love that “would you say it to your friend” super concept. I must apply that to myself and point others at that too.

    I have a friend who is really intelligent, diligent, hard working etc. But she has such a mad projection of herself as not being worthy it is horrible to witness. I saw it in her again just the other day when she received some good news about something only for her to say straight away “I’m certain I don’t deserve it”…. but someone else independently judged her worth and work and deemed it worthy of praise and acknowledgement….

  7. I am working on plan to lose- myfitnesspal is awesome! Every time I eat a cookie and log it, the guilt keeps me healthy for the next week.
    Agree on ditching the scales- it isn’t motivation! In fact every time I find I haven’t lost weight, I end up eating badly (emotional eater!)
    Good luck!

  8. Great plan! You’re making fantastic strides (pun…intended, ha) thus far. I think I need to take the same words to heart, talking to myself as I would to my best friend. Sending love and light to you! 🙂

  9. Love the plan and great attitude, especially the part about being your own best friend. i literally threw my scale away when it stopped working (digital) but haven’t gotten around to replacing it. I’m in no rush. The quiet is nice.

      1. I was using it successfully (non-obsessively) once a week for years. The reason I was relieved to see it stop working recently is because I picked up weight in Dec/Jan. I didn’t like what it was telling me. I think the break was good, but I’m coming to the realization that I need that accountability.

  10. Wow, this is a great and detailed plan, and I LOVE IT! My Fitness Pal works for me too (when I choose to use it, that is). I am in the middle of the get-rid-of-the-scale experiment, and so far it is not the unqualified success I thought it would be, but I know it works well for Kristen (above) and for many others. I am really looking forward to reading how it works for you.

    And, I wish, so badly I had a treadmill in my house, and it’s because I picture myself emulating you, striding away while watching Scandal (a show I missed the boat on as well). I have access to a treadmill, so I can’t justify buying one for my house, but I will figure out how to watch the show up at my sister-in-law’s little home gym (logistics are such prevent this from happening due to wireless).

    Anyway, what I love most about this, as you well know, THIS IS TOO IMPORTANT TO GIVE UP ON. I swear Sherry, I have repeated this line to myself many, many times in the past few days.

    Looking forward to the next update 🙂

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