54 at 54 Friday Update – Week 1

This week has been…slow.  I’m still struggling with the sugar but I’ve worked out every evening which is a very big deal.  When I hurt my foot before Christmas, I stopped working out so I didn’t aggravate it.  I never picked it back up.  BUT I’m pushing through even when, like last night, every bone in my tired body said “NO!!!!  Just go home and sit in your chair and relax…you deserve it.”

I told those lying-ass thoughts that they had been evicted and would have to leave…and then I did a 40 minute workout instead of a 30 minute workout.  See what happens when you piss me off.

My diet has been good too (except for the sugar…oh…and some potato chips…ugh).  I’m keeping it clean, low carb with lots of vegetables.  Still too many diet Pepsi’s but progress not perfection.

I mentioned I’d been reading the book Down Size by Ted Spiker.  It’s really given me a new perspective on my weight and, more importantly, confirmed what I have always believed…diets don’t work and anything you do to lose weight you must be able to maintain for a lifetime (with the exception of jump starts and cleaning up your diet…more on that later).  If you can’t do it forever, you’re just making yourself crazy.

From the introduction:

“It comes down to figuring out not the rules, but the truths – the principles that can guide your actions, that can steer you in the right direction, that can bail you out when things go wrong, that your brain (and not your belly) is the lead character in the dramatic performance that is weight loss.”

This is the hook that made me keep reading.  That it’s a holistic approach.  That I can’t undo a lifetime of truths and what’s more, I shouldn’t.  Rather, I should work with my own truths to uncover the healthiest version of me.  He outlines 12 truths that worked for him and that he hopes will help us find our own way to healthy.

In part one of the book, Ted talks about figuring out the reasons we are overweight in the first place.  Genetics?  Lifestyle?  Clean your plate club?  Or how fat acts as a coping mechanism against some kind of trauma, either in childhood or in adulthood.  The bells and whistles started going off in my head as soon as I read that sentence.  I remember that I was a sickly skinny child until about third grade when I began to put on weight…exactly when the abuse began.  Believe it or not, I had never put that together with my sexual abuse…NEVER.

So I started thinking, could my weight gain as a child be related to my sexual abuse?  Later, as a middle age woman, could my weight gain have been as a result of a feeling that I was failing my mother as she was dying?  The time in between 22 and 40 I maintained a healthy weight and was physical fit.  But before and after…

Rocked my world people.  I spent a good 2-3 days just flipping that one over and over in my head until I realized, thinking about it wasn’t going to do a damn thing.  I had to actually do something…so I kept reading.

Ted moves on to discuss motivation and determination and strategies but never strays from the premise that one size does not fit all and that we each must do the work to figure out what works for us AND what our bodies want to be.  We’re not all a size 6 (or 00?  What the what?) and, for me, I know my body will fight me every step of the way if I try to make it something it’s not nor will ever be.  It’s been doing it my whole adult life.

And then, after my post the other day where I said it felt like a I had reached some kind of quiet determination this time I read this…

“It’s quieter than what we typically think of as determination.”


This book isn’t a diet book and there are no hard and fast rules about how you’re going to get skinny.  But I promise you that if it doesn’t do anything else, it will definitely make you think.

It has made me think.  In fact, I’m toying with the idea of another Whole30.  Just to jumpstart me and detox from sugar and potato chips.  I felt so great when I did the first one and I think enough time has passed for me to feel the newness again.  I’ll think about it some more and let you know.  I know that when I was at my best, my fittest, sugar and chips were a treat…not a way of life.  I know I can maintain that lifestyle.  I know I feel great in that lifestyle.  I just have to find that lifestyle again.

And the treadmill should be coming about the middle of next week.  Scandal here I come!

Thanks for listening.



20 thoughts on “54 at 54 Friday Update – Week 1

  1. First off, I love reading your posts, funny, inspirational etc… second, I’m sorry about the abuse 😦 …. just aweful…third, I wanted to offer a few suggestions with your sugar / potatoe chip cravings… I work with a nutritionist who is a naturupathic doctor, and he has given me all these natural alternatives… so for sugar, I use Stevia (It’s all natural) it doesn’t have that artificial sweetener taste… you can cook with it etc… YUMMY! And the alternative potatoe chip, was brown rice (very thin) crackers… yes made of brown rice and they are so good! And good for you… The list goes on…
    It sounds like you have the determination and will reach your goal for sure! Awesome job 🙂

      1. It’s funny how eating healthy foods is so much more expensive! I go to the grocery store, load up on veggies, lean proteins, soy milk, (no processed foods or artifical stuff) and boom, ouch the grocery bill is insane! but its worth it 🙂

    1. I do prefer stevia to any other non-sugar sweetener and I use it in my coffee. I haven’t tried baking with it but that will have to wait since I’ve been banned from the oven by my family – everyone, except me it seems, is sugared-out from the holidays.

      I will try those rice crackers though! Thanks for the tip!


  2. hey congrats on 5 years, that rocks five ninjas!

    I was sexually abused as a kid too and for me, my weight issues are related. One way is the extra pounds served as a form of armor for me.

    I finally hit a bottom with the food and things just clicked last year. There is a fake it to you make it to dynamic to eating better and exercising regularly. For like 5 years, I would wake up each day and say – should I go to the gym or no? I would go for a couple days and then not go again for a month. But after exercising two months straight daily, it just became a habit, a routine. Now when I miss a cardio workout, I am bummed. I can’t believe I am still the same person that was exercise avoiding to exercise near compulsive.

    Just stick with it, power through it like you did with staying sober one day at a time….then days, months later you will be lighter and fitter.

    1. Yeah…I remember “back in the day” when I worked out every day no matter what and if I missed it, I felt like crap. I just want to get back to that. Maybe not as hardcore since I’m older but enough to keep my heart healthy and my ass leaner.

      Thanks for the vote of confidence. It really does help.


  3. the holistic approach is the only one I know that will work for me. Lifestyle rather than up and down on specific diets (just learned that one!) I think what you speak about is heavy truth, and thank you for sharing this, as I need a reminder about this as well. I am learning to honour my body but not be a slave to it. Sure I have my too-many-sweets days, but just like one single meal won’t make you skinny, one heavier session won’t make you larger either. Moderation in all areas is what works for me, plus the exercise. But 80% of any successful weight loss happens on the plate – what we put or don’t put on it.

    Anyway, great stuff…love this.


    1. “I am learning to honour my body and not be a slave to it.”

      This is why I love you Paul – that is it EXACTLY! Thank you.

      Even if you did spell honor wrong (lol). I think it’s funny how my computer thinks the Canadian/British spelling is wrong. Does yours give you that squiggly red line when you spell it like we do in the states? Just curious.


  4. My friend, big congrats on 5 years…as always a big inspiration.. And I love this work you are doing… I’ve toyed with the idea of another whole30 as well xxx

  5. So much to say but mercy, my week. Youre doing awesome!! Gil wants to do Whole30. We’re considering trying it in February. We’re both striving for exercising consistently in January. I LOVE having equipment at home. Cant wait to hear how you like your treadmill. Lots of love and encouragement!! You can do this!

    1. I think February is a great time to do a Whole30! I’m still toying with the idea but if I decided to do it, it will likely be February – even if Valentine’s Day is in there. 😉


  6. And there’s a lot of research on sexual abuse and weight issues. I dont have any studies at my fingertips but i think you’re wise to explore that. I started college as a nutrition major and my plan was to work with people with eating and weight-related issues. After working in a weight-loss clinic, i changed my major to psychology and minored in nutrition. I lost count of the number of clients who confessed deep, dark secrets — many were sexually abused as children. I think the reason so many people regain weight is because they put all their focus on food and exercise (necessary for sure… but) and don’t have to tools to look deeper for the why. So… I’m so sorry you have to do it, but i think it might be a huge part in getting where you want to be. Big hugs!!! You can do it. 🙂

    1. The more I think about it the more I think that’s definitely something to explore. I’ll talk it over with the therapist this week. Not sure if it will do any good but now that it’s top of mind…I need to talk about it.


  7. interesting….
    i thought i followed you and yet….LOL. I do now.
    Happy 5 years, that is really wonderful. And this post is os full of wisdom and inspiration…

    i am toying with the whole30 idea again myself…I’ve done a few and they always get me back on track. i thought maybe i could do it alone after this holiday season, and I kinda am, but i love the kickstart of the 30. Yoga certainly helps, but sugar…DAMN!

    1. That’s funny because I always thought I followed YOU and then…nope. So now I do.

      The Whole30 is looking more and more like it’s going to happen. That sugar thing is kicking my ASS.

      Thanks Mished, so nice to have you here.


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