I hope you all felt the joy of the season in your hearts. This is a time of year that I struggle with getting it “right” which usually ends up ruining at least part of it for me. This year I made a concerted effort to LET GO of a lot of that crap and just try to be present, in the moment and enjoy all the things I love about the Christmas season.
I was able (for the most part – progress not perfection right) to enjoy the holidays warts and all. Even when my boys showed up Christmas morning without a gift for dear old mom, I was able to laugh and tease them rather than retreat to my pity party. What’s more, it got me an after Christmas Water-Pik guilt gift which I desperately needed. Score!
I also let them know that as long as they are on the planet and sharing love on Christmas with me (whether face to face or via phone, FaceTime or Skype) there would never be a “ruined” Christmas.
But I did tease the hell out of them. Give me a break…I’m old…I’m sober…I don’t smoke (anything)…my pleasures are minimal. ( 😉 )
I also ate my weight in sugar this holiday season even though I only made three types of cookies and two types of fudge…oh…and a chocolate chip pound cake. There were days where all I ate were carbs. Yep…I said it. Don’t judge.
Which brings me to the second part of this post.
Happy New Year!!!
In a few days we move into 2015. My 54th year on the planet and my 5th year in sobriety. Also approximately my 10th year carrying extra weight. All of those things have combined to create high triglycerides (still), knees that are shot, clothes that are a size I didn’t think I’d EVER see, and an overall bad attitude and self-esteem that follows me into every day and hangs over me like a sad little cloud created just for me.
I haven’t made a real New Year’s Resolution since I quit drinking five years ago. I’ve made pseudo-resolutions like a commitment NOT to diet and to be kinder to myself (how’s that working for you Sherry), or to “treat myself better” or some similar bullshit. It all results in me entering yet another new year feeling like crap and promising to be better to myself.
So here’s how I’m going to roll this year.
I’ve been slowing down on the posts on this site lately. I think it’s because I just don’t have that much to say about my sobriety and recovery anymore. When I “go there” it feels very negative (I know it’s not negative but it’s how I feel). I’m a lot of things but negative isn’t one of them. So I’ve been struggling with posting. I guess I’m just not feeling inspired.
I’ve decided to focus instead on a new site. 54 at 54. (It won’t be live until the 5th.)
This site will be dedicated to my 2015 resolution to lose 54 pounds in my 54th year and regain my health. It’s important. It’s redeeming.
So, beginning January 5th (I never start resolutions on the 1st…I’m stubborn that way) I will be posting daily on this new site. Now, before you decide you want to follow me let me warn you about some things…number one being that it might be boring.
I’m going to use the new blog as a way to remain accountable. I’ll be listing every piece of food or drop of drink that goes into my face. I’ll also be posting about exercise and my resolution to get up every day, at 5:30 a.m. (jeez that hurts to type) and do some type of exercise. I’ll write about how I’m feeling, what the doctor has to say about my numbers and whether or not my chronic heartburn and knee pain is alleviated. There may also be some bitching, complaining and…gasp…whining.
See…don’t say I didn’t warn you.
The plan in the beginning is to eat only protein, fruits, vegetables and complex (very complex) carbohydrates. I’ll be up at 5:30 everyday except Sunday. M-W-F will be cardio (I’ll be buying a new treadmill with my bonus this year) and T-Th will be yoga. At first I will not be counting calories. I’ll try that on for a while and see how it goes.
I will also be posting my weight.
Yep…I went there. THAT’s how committed I am to this. I, a soon to be 54-year-old American woman is going to put her weight and weight loss progress on the internet for the entire world to see.
Of course I’ll be writing here on my original site when the mood strikes about anything other than those 54 pounds. Kids, hubs, sobriety, recovery, therapy, work, you know, the usual, but I’m anticipating spending a lot more time over at 54 at 54. I would love it if you’d pop on over but trust me, I’ll understand if you refrain. Not sure I could put up with me at this point.
If you do follow me over, I’d love any recipes, advice, workouts, plans, etc. that you want to share. I’m open to any and all advice at this point because, even though, in a former life, I was a gym rat and really fit, that ship has sailed. I am an beginner (that also hurts to type and admit) and so I’m open to whatever advice comes my way.
So wish me luck. Merry Christmas and Happy, happy HAPPY New Year!