Okay, so my nest isn’t completely empty but it’s emptying at an alarming rate and quite frankly is sucks ass more than anything has ever sucked ass before or since. So there!
To be honest, I’m spoiled because my one child is in an apartment near school that’s only a 20 minute drive from our house and the other two are still technically living at home so I do get to see them more than other parents get to see their college age kids. But I’m having a tantrum here so you’ll just have to bear with me and deal with my whining.
The part that sucks is that while their bodies are near their heads are GONE. They’ve got LIVES separate and apart from ours and it feels really weird. I was in Target yesterday because, well…that’s my happy place…and I wandered over to the Christmas section. There were stocking stuffers and bedazzled Christmas Trees and carols playing and all manner of ornaments, stockings and lights to be purchased. A little farther down were aisles and aisles of toys and games and puzzles and dolls just waiting for Santa’s elves to swoop in and purchase them once Christmas lists have been completed. I was there to soak up all the warm and fuzzy’s because that’s how I’m rolling this year. Right?
No…because it wasn’t warm and fuzzy…it was cold and sad. Why? Because I was there alone. Normally being alone in Target is my nirvana. A fountain soft drink or Starbucks coffee in hand and I can wander those aisles for ever and never buy a thing (well at least I try to keep it under $100). My blood pressure goes down, my permafrown turns upward and I leave a little broker but a lot happier.
Not yesterday though. One of the things I used to love to do was take the boys shopping at Christmas time. I loved to watch their faces light up when they saw the trees right after Halloween (while I stuffed down all my feelings I let theirs run amok) and listened as they ooo’d and ahhhh’d over all the stuff they wanted Santa to bring. Even after they got older I liked to watch them try on clothes or pick out the latest video game. Then we’d get a soda or a frap and talk about Christmas all the way home.
Even as recent as last Christmas this was still happening. Perhaps more infrequent and not all three (or four) at once but one on one I’d get to experience it. Something happened this year however that changed all that – they turned into adults with lives of their own.
I didn’t even realize that the Target Experience was a thing until I found myself alone in the “seasonal” aisle. I swear to God I started to cry and had to get the hell out of there before I embarrassed myself any further. As I sat in the car sniffling I texted my boys…
“I HATE being in Target without my boys at Christmas. Empty nesting SUCKS!”
“I’m coming home soon mom. You could have asked.”
And I said…
“Dude – you were busy and it’s my JOB to LET YOU GO.”
Later he told me that if I was supposed to let him go I shouldn’t send texts like that. I let him know that even though it was my job, I didn’t have to like it and he’d just have to deal with his crazy mother a little while longer.
The other twin sent me this…
“I HATE having to work on the weekends and not go to Target with you. Being an adult sucks!”
Well played my son…well played.
The third didn’t reply at all which is completely normal for him. Texts like that don’t require responses in his mind. Did I mention he’s the most practical of those three?
Anyway, after I got home I cried on the hubs shoulder and told him to dust off his shopping shoes because he was going to have to get used to shopping with me again – like we did before we had these love sucking heathen children.