Since about mid-May I’ve been going full-out, hittin’ on all 8’s, balls to the wall. Between the house and the busy season at work, there has been absolutely no end to the rat race. I have worked through a head cold and pink eye, exhaustion, extreme heat and humidity and all other manner of plagues that have beset me. (I’m not even sure if I used that word correctly but I’m too tired to care.)
Now, with the house 95% complete and things beginning to slow down at work I have met my match.
Holy mother of God this shit is horrible!
In my job we train incoming Analysts and Associates for seven weeks. We get them right after they graduate from college, train them and then set them loose on their jobs. Part of that training is to take them to do community service which reinforces the commitment my company has to giving back. Because we train in the summer…in the south…we try to stay indoors. This year however, our numbers we so large that we had to take two groups to local parks for “beautification”.
USUALLY, “beautification” means spreading mulch, picking up trash and planting for 3 hours. Not this year. One group went to weed gardens for a local farming cooperative and the other cleaned out a wooded area in a park for safety reasons (bad guys hide in that shit yo). Problem is…no one told us that long sleeves and long pants were advisable.
Guess which group I was in?
I’ve never had poison ivy in my life and I’ve cleaned out some really yucky areas in yards. I know I’ve been exposed because others have gotten it when I have not. So I instructed anyone who knew they were allergic to stay out of the wooded area, wear gloves and just feet the chipper. I dove right in…after all, I’m not allergic.
So now I have this shit all over my arms, legs and…wait for it…FACE. Turns out brushing the hair out of your eyes with arms that have been exposed to poison ivy isn’t very smart. Well fuck me backwards.
The doctor gave me a five day dose of Prednisone, an antihistamine that wouldn’t make me drowsy and sent me packing with a looking of pity rarely seen on a doctor’s face. I’ve been through every home remedy known to man to calm the itch…baking soda and apple cider vinegar, Benedryl cream, cortisone cream, oatmeal baths, etc. The only thing that’s helping is the stuff my mom put on me when I had chicken pox as a child…calamine lotion.
Thank the good Lord for calamine lotion.
But…you guys know how I roll…gotta put a silver lining on this shit.
I think this is the Universe telling me to slow the hell down and take a breath. So that’s what I’m doing. I have several books I haven’t even begun to read, an appointment to get my hair done, and a recipe I want to try for dinner. The antihistamine that’s not supposed to make me drowsy makes me drowsy so I foresee naps in my future. I’m going to catch up with the hubs, watch HGTV and just veg…you know…lay like broccoli (that’s from Pretty Woman – love that movie).
Just as soon as I…