Mother’s Day

My son and I were chatting the other night when I suddenly asked him, “What do you think about when you think about Mother’s Day?”

He’s a man so of course he’s suspicious of my motives.

So I clarify, “I mean…since you were raised in a ‘normal’ house, I want to know what you think about when you know Mother’s Day is coming up.”

I see his shoulders relax.  He thinks about it for a second and then says, “Nothing really.  It’s just a day for us to tell you how much we love you.”

Best.  Answer.  Ever.

I used to dread Mother’s Day.  For me it was a day that I was sure I would disappoint my mother in some form or fashion.  Since nothing I did was ever enough for her, having an entire 24 hour period soley dedicated to the art of disappointing her and not measuring up was not something to which I looked forward.  No matter what gift I purchased, how much time I spent in her company or how many times I told her I loved her, at some time during that day she would let me know that I also did not do X Y or Z and therefore she was not happy.  Not always…but at least 99 3/4% of the time.

As a little girl and teenager this made me sad but as I got older I came to understand that it was something in her and not me that was causing this.  I didn’t know what and it didn’t make things any better but I stopped feeling it was my fault.  It wasn’t until long after she was gone that I came to understand her brokeness.  This allowed me to forgive her and acknowledge my love for her and most of all, find some peace.

So having Matthew give me that simple answer was one of the nicest Mother’s Day presents I have ever received.  To know that I have raised my children without guilt or disappointment is a blessing. To know that I have instilled in them the simplicity of loving someone not for what they bring you or do for you but rather for how they sit in your heart is a miracle.

So THIS Mother’s Day I want to say thank you to my children for making the job of being their mom the greatest experience of my life. 

Thank you for the sweet scent of baby hair after a bath.

Thank you for “I love you’s” spoken with a lisp or through tears or first thing in the morning (and all the other times too).

Thank you for hugs that started with you in my arms and now are me in your arms.  (I know I’m short.  So what.)

Thank you for trusting me with your secrets and understanding when I couldn’t keep them.

Thank you for understanding that I couldn’t be your friend (or marry you when you grow up) because I’m your mom.  First.  Foremost.  Always.

Thank you for making me laugh like no one else on the planet can make me laugh.

Thank you for forgiving me when I mess up.

Thank you for wanting your mommy when no one else will do…not even dad.

Thank you for letting me be their to check for a fever with a kiss, calm the fear of a thunderstorm, swat away a bee, heal a broken heart with a hug, or help you work through an issue by just listening.

Thank you for teaching me what sportsmanship is, what true sharing means and that sometimes you just need to throw a fit before you’re going to get over it.

Thank you for letting me share all the firsts and wanting me there.  First tooth, haircut, word, step, laugh.  First day at school.  First heartbreak.  First prom.  First real accomplishment.  First real love.  Graduations.  Moving out.  Marriages.  Births. 

Thank you for always wanting to come home.

Thank you for letting me be a mom.  Not just your birth mother…or step mother…or aunt mother…but your real, honest to goodness, mom.

Thank you for touching a place in my soul I never knew I had.  I love you.

Namaste

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14 thoughts on “Mother’s Day

  1. Absolutely beautiful list of thanks! I, too, had a ‘normal’ upbringing and never felt pressured on Mother’s Day. I pulled weeds in the woods for her, and my dear mama, while sneezing her head off, just kept saying how beautiful they were. She passed away five years ago today, and I’d give anything to just hear her say “I love you” one more time.

  2. Oh Sherry, you’re making me cry! Being their mother is a gift, isn’t it? I tell my kids they’ll never understand half of the things I do until they’re a parent and I know it’s true because it was true for me. Such a beautiful post. Happy Mother’s day!

  3. A wonderful post, thank you. I too had a mother I could never please. I hope if I asked my kids they’d give the same response as your son. Being a mum has been the gest job ever. To have grown and nurtured a human being, is an incredible gift. Thank you for reminding me of that.

  4. What a beautiful post. You truly have a gift for these lists – I have said it over and over again. You made this guy here get misty. I love the smell of hair after a bath. I still get to wash the boys hair and smell it later while I roughhouse and kiss them.
    I am sorry that you grew up with that experience you did of your mother, but wow, seeing that she was broken and forgiving here…massive. What a big and loving woman you are.

    Happy Mother’s Day 🙂

    Paul

  5. Thank you for this. It is a great reminder of how great it is to be a mom. Even through the aggravation.
    I too have a mother I can never please, but your insight about your mother’s brokenness hits me in my heart. It has given me a new way to look at my relationship with my mother. It may never get better, but now I get why it is what it is.
    Invaluable. Thank you.

  6. I got lucky, my mother always made me feel like I hung the moon. Every day. But look what you did with that childhood, you turned it around and upside down and somehow, without an example, you became the best mother you can be, the mother you always dreamed of. Your boys are blessed, but their wives are going to hate you. 😉 Love you!

    1. Well so far their girlfriends LOVE me so that’s been a blessing. In face, one of the female friends came to the house last night just to give me a mother’s day card!!! I almost cried!

      Sherry

  7. Fantastic list and very well written. Thank you for sharing it. I can’t speak for others, but you put a lot of good thoughts into words that many of us proud parents think every day.

    Dave

  8. Reblogged this on bullshitterz and commented:
    Hello all,

    I came across this on another blog and wanted to share it with those of you who read mine. Happy Mother’s Day to all Mom’s. We truly couldn’t do it without you.

  9. Hey cutie, Well, here I am a week late. I came to my computer this morning (after a big crash two weeks ago) and decided to read—only. Yours was the first name that came to mind—and of course I am not disappointed. I am in agreement with Paul. You always create a good list. You have a knack for a complete-perspective-shift with 500 words. You hit me right out of the gate with the ‘scent of baby hair’ … my girl is 11 and I still love the smell of her beautiful hair. Now I’m trying to infuse this smell into me for all of eternity. You always touch my heart. my love, Lisa

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