|This is from my tree two years ago. Belle is my favorite Disney princess.|
I’ve been thinking about all these cravings and pangs we’ve all been discussing out here in our blog world recently. It seems that a lot of us are going through the same thing – in spite of the fact that we’re all in different stages of our sobriety and recovery. Hmmmm…
Then it hit me – AH HA! It’s Christmas and we’re ALCOHOLICS (or, if you’re still in the drunk closet, problem drinkers). Even people who don’t normally drink will have a cup of Christmas cheer during the holidays. Hell there’s even a song that tells you to “have a cup o’ cheer”. The alcohol ads pick up in intensity and get all warm and fuzzy with their colors and images and sentiments…always being careful to include a quick “always drink responsibly” at the end of the ads. Christmas parties are in full swing and people are dressing up to go out and drink and it’s all just so damn festive! And this is all just leading up to the biggest drunk of the year…New Year’s Eve. So it’s no wonder that those of us who have put down our glasses are having some struggles.
And, now that I’ve had my ah-ha moment, it makes perfect sense. Of course this time of year is difficult, the cravings and pangs can be unbearable. But it’s only because we’re alcoholics because…now get a pad and paper and write this down…it’s okay, I’ll wait…you back? Okay here goes…NORMAL PEOPLE DON’T CRAVE ALCOHOL AT ALL!!!!
I know that may come as quite a shock. It’s the same shock you have when you see someone pouring wine down the drain after a party (why doesn’t someone DRINK that for god’s sake?). The same feeling you have when you go out to dinner with someone and they wait, and ponder, and wait to order a drink. Sometimes they even send the waiter away so they can THINK about it before they make a decision. What’s there to think about? Just order the damn drink! The rest of us are waiting!!!!
Normal people just don’t think the way we do…they are wired differently.
That’s not to say that they don’t look forward to a drink and that this time of year isn’t fun for them, because I have a lot of friends who are normies and I can tell you that they most certainly do like to drink and have fun doing it. But they don’t NEED it the way we do and so they don’t CRAVE it and STRUGGLE with it and THINK about it the way we do. They don’t have that hole down deep in their gut that churns when a craving comes on. They don’t have a running dialog in their head that constantly shouts at them to find an excuse to drink. They don’t think about how that first sip will taste and spread through your gut and warm you to your toes…okay…maybe they think about that but not ALL THE TIME. They don’t have a beast (addiction, illness…whatever you’ve named yours) that hangs around and pokes at you like an annoying little brother with a stick.
So if you’re struggling and craving and dealing with pangs, just know that it’s your beast, your addiction, your illness (whatever the hell you call it) calling attention to the fact that YOU ARE THE STRONGEST PERSON IT HAS EVER ENCOUNTERED. It is frustrated and angry that, no matter what weapons it chooses, you are not picking up, not drinking, not ruining your recovery or sobriety for the sake of a drink so fa-la-fucking-la to it. No matter what it says, how bad it makes you feel, how distracted you become, you will still wake up tomorrow morning without a hangover and bursting with pride because, once again, you’ve beaten the beast.
And that is a beautiful thing.