One of the reasons that the hubs and I will celebrate 30 years in April (holy shit that it is a long time) is because we are of like minds and share the same value system. Back when we were first dating he told me this would be important and that it would help us to trust each other. All I was thinking was, “Damn this guy is not my type and yet all I want to do is jump his bones!” or “Please God don’t let me fuck this one up!”
I was very young (22) and he was very old (35) so that should explain the fact that he was wise and I was, well, a child.
Anyway, those values and beliefs have always revolved around honesty, sprituality, and unconditional love. Of course he had to help me uncover the fact that I had a deep, deep capacity for unconditional love because no one had ever taught me that this is the way love is supposed to be. He is the greatest gift God has ever sent me. Without him, nothing in my life would be possible, not even my children.
Again I digress…and I’m getting sappy so I’m going to move on.
ANYWAY, we have always lived with a giving spirit and have taught our children to behave the same. When someone needs something, we are the ones who provide. 99.9% of the time we have no idea what result our giving has. We just DO it because that what human beings should do. There’s no comeback. We don’t talk about it (except to each other). Many times it’s anonymous so as not to embarrass the receiving party. When we are able, we ask that the receiving party simply pay it forward, then we release it.
For many years we joked that rather than having our own kids, we would be destined to love and raise OPC (other people’s children). Even though we now have six kids we call our own, our home remains open to various friends and girlfriends who, for whatever reason, have a hole in their homes. They aren’t getting enough hugs, or support, or unconditional praise and love – so we give it to them. It’s easy. They are wonderful humans and we do for them what should be done for every human…we love them.
What I’m ALWAYS amazed to find is that everyone does not feel this way. Many times people have been suspicious of us. I’ve been accused of being a “care a holic” because I need this kind of life. People have asked me why? My only response is to look them in the eye and say, “Why not?” They can’t believe anyone would do this for another person…I can’t believe they wouldn’t.
I’m actually very selfish…you see I get way more out of this than I could ever give. I know that this is the way God intended humans to behave. I know He’s pleased.
So in the season of giving thanks I’d like to say thank you to the Big Guy for not only making me the way I am, but for sending me a mate that also believes in living this way. I’d also like to thank Him for allowing me to find recovery so that I can finally, after all these years, know that I’m a good person and say to all the nay sayers and suspicious minds out there who question my motives…
“Fuck you and the horse you rode in on. Have a nice day.”