I think I’m operating under a little blue cloud here lately. Believe me when I say they are all “first world problems” (to quote my kids) but when you’re hanging onto your finances by your acrylic fingernails (which may have to go soon – noooooooo) any unexpected expense can send you over the edge.
Our dishwasher died last week. Our just a little over five years old dishwasher died last week. Really? (Note: Geez alert – I’m about to sound really old.) When I first moved in with the hubs, we had a set of appliances in the most beautiful shade of Harvest Gold you’ve ever seen (don’t judge – it was 30 years ago). The only problem was that those Harvest Gold appliances lasted for 20 years! They outlasted their trend and I was BEGGING them to break down. When the dishwasher and the refrigerator finally stopped washing and cooling, I cried tears of joy.
The matching washer and dryer lasted another 5 years or so.
But my GE Profile all fancy and shit dishwasher that came with the house just…died. The control panel went out and it would cost more to fix it than it would to just buy a new one. The best part is that the repair man came in, pushed a button on the control panel, pronounced it dead and charged us $75. WTF? Our new one will be delivered next week. Sigh…
I’m just really, really feeling the pinch right now and I don’t even do the bills anymore! (I turned that over to the hubs a few years ago when I needed a break from all that juggling – it’s exhausting.) We’ve had B’s hospital stay, which we’ll be paying for when his children come to visit me in the old folks home, senior year times two (announcements, cap and gowns, rings, yearbooks, pictures, college apps, testing fees…), appliance breakdowns, car breakdowns, the oldest needs his wisdom teeth out, and oh yeah CHRISTMAS IS ON THE WAY! Ho Ho fucking Ho.
We are not extravagant people by any means. We don’t eat out very often. The hubs clips coupons. The boys aren’t clothes or shoe hounds and I try to limit my purchases to what I actually need rather than what I want. We haven’t been on a vacation in over 8 years.
And I have really cut back my spending. Except for my nails every two weeks and a hair appointment once every 5-6 weeks (cut only…I color my own hair) I try not to spend money. Some weekends I don’t even leave the house because the pull of Target is just too great. I can’t go in that fucking store without spending $200 so I try to abstain…I’m good at abstaining. Because I’m abstaining we save $20 a day in wine which is a shitload of money every month (yes…I can do that math but I prefer not to see it in print).
I’m just venting. I was never meant to be rich financially because I’m so rich in other ways. I have an abundance of love to share and it’s shared right back. I have good health (with the exception of a knee that I totally screwed up exercising), was fortunate to marry my soul mate, have an amazing family and a beautiful home. I need to shut the fuck up. God has always provided for me and mine and He always will. I need to “be still and know”.
Because I wouldn’t trade my life for anything in the world.
PS – my son just texted me…he has a second level cavity and his brother has eight superficial ones. The dogs go to the vet today for their checkup – I’m willing to bet one is going to need a heart transplant.