Mood Swings and the Post-Menopausal Woman

I’ve been having some fairly wild mood swings for about the past week.  I thought that once you were post-menopausal the mood swings and the hot flashes would taper off and eventually quit.  Well not for me.  Not only are the hot flashes back but the mood swings are crazy!

It seems as though the slightest thing can send me either into anger or despair.  Then it takes me a while to shake it off and get back to normal.  I’m not a superstitious person but I swear this all started after my Zen post the other day.  Maybe that’s the universe’s way of telling me I’m not as “zen” as I thought I was.

Sheesh!

For example, I came home this weekend from being out with my boys and, as usual, the counters in my kitchen as well as the kitchen table were a mess.  Now this always aggravates me and I’ve been known to throw a tantrum or ten about it but usually it’s been brewing for a while before I blow.  Not this time.  I walked in the door, took one look and proceeded to take off the hubs’ head as soon as he spoke (then he got all passive-aggressive which made me even angrier).  In the moment I was thinking, “WTF is this?”  But of course that didn’t stop me.  I finally retreated to my yoga room for a much needed attitude adjustment, emerging later only slightly better.

0 to bitch in 1.4 seconds flat.

Next was my tirade on a friend’s blog which I wrote about here (and have blessedly let go) which was really not like me at all.  And let me say thank you to all who commented and brought me in from the ledge.  That took over 24 hours to shake off and if it hadn’t been for the post and comments, I’d likely still be carrying that sucker around in my gut.

Double sheesh!

So my boss snapped at me today.  Not the first time but the first time it was directed to something I did.  It stung and I’m still not sure what brought it on but I should be able to attribute it to how she was feeling in the moment rather than a fatal flaw in my character.  I’ve been in the workplace long enough to know that if you work with people long enough they become like family and get on your damn last nerve sometimes.  Apparently, in that moment, I got on hers.  I should be able to shake it off and move on…she has.  Note the use of the word “should”.  It’s been sitting here churning in my gut all afternoon.  And she’s out so I can’t even talk to her about it.  (Which is probably God’s way of protecting me from myself right now because she would likely think I have lost my freaking mind!)

Now, let’s be clear, I am no stranger to this feeling.  It happened to me on a regular basis from the moment I began drinking.  Not being able to remember what happened the night before and worrying yourself to death until you could see the person (or people) and gauge by their reaction what class of ass you’d made of yourself.  Doing something so out of character that you can scarcely believe you did it and then being so remorseful about it that it would take days to rid yourself of the guilt.  Bringing up an event in conversation just to see if anyone brought up your behavior.  Having your spouse tell you something that you said or did and then cringing and feeling that familiar feeling of “Oh…my…God.  When will this stop?”

But!  Since I’ve been sober I have loved the feeling of never having to worry about that kind of thing again.  Except that I guess I misjudged that bitch menopause and her impact on my moods, emotions and inability to shut the fuck up.

So, until I can get some control over these moods and their impact on those in my general vicinity, I think I will learn to breathe before I answer, comment, type (except in this blog), or respond.  I may even breathe before I make eye contact since I’ve been told that my face gives away my emotions like TMZ gives away celebrity gossip.

I probably should carry a paper bag with me – I may cause myself to hyperventilate with all this breathing I’m going to be doing.

Namaste

“It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.”
~ Mark Twain

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8 thoughts on “Mood Swings and the Post-Menopausal Woman

  1. Get out of my head, my kitchen and MY BED !! lol

    omg, yes, YES to the “hate on husband” when he plays the passive aggressive card.

    And the boss. ughhhh again. You blogged it, so I'm hoping that one is about 90% out of your brain – may need to toss-and-turn a bit tonite over it, but,, then you should be over it. BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL TOO AWARE THAT, YES, its on her and her opinion of you is none of your dam business.

    Unless, of course, you committed a major F-up. And if that's the case, well, you know how to resolve it,, but if she was just blowing off some misdirected frustration and you happened to step onto her turf while she was doing so,,

    Oh well…

    Right?

    RIGHT :@)

  2. Oh God, do I remember the dread of facing people after a drunken soiree, wondering what did I do this time. One of my most valuable sober privileges is being able to stop and think before I open my mouth, most of the time my mouth stays firmly shut, most of the time.

  3. Oh my word! Was I glad to see this blog post! Just coming out of the menopause … well fingers crossed! But still having the ups and downs of mood swings which made me think what on earth is going on here? I Googled post menopausal mood swings and found this blog which I am now following! Refuge 🙂

  4. i'm just so mad all, all, all the time. everything depresses me, being 52 and knowing i'm not living up to my potential only strengthens this feeling.

    work called me in for being distant. they can kiss my ass. those jerks.

  5. Thanks for being so honest w/your feelings you guys…..I'm 51, and have been “period free” for a little over a year now. Thought all the mood swings were a thing of the past (PMS was awful) when o/o the blue I was hit by a ton of bricks this past weekend!!!! Same thing – walked into my not-always-perfect house & saw crap all over the place & just lost it. I'm not asking anyone to mow my lawn or dust & vacuum, JUST PICK UP AFTER YOURSELF!!!! Geez. Then everyone looks at me like I've got three heads. I'lll be following too to se how you all make out, thx!

  6. “I'm just so mad all the time!” That's it in a nutshell (no pun intended). Don't know if my chronic anger and unhappiness is part of being post-menopausal, or if I've just become one of those miserable, grumpy old women. After mentally justifying many a battle with co-workers, neighbors, and our local cable TV company, the time has come face that maybe, just maybe, it's me rather than everyone else. I just quit my lousy job of 6 years, scheduled an anger management session with a therapist, updated and sent out my resume, and decided to learn about blogging. One day at a time, maybe I can channel some of this negative energy into positive action. Not sure, very frightened, but I have to try. So good to read what others have to say and realize you're not alone.

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