The Mom Thing

I love being a mom.  It’s the one thing in the world that I know I do better than most.  It’s why God put me on the earth.  I nurture.  I rock The Mom Thing.

Part of me rocking the mom thing, means that my children are first no matter what.  Sometimes I like that and sometimes I’m resentful (and, I’m embarrassed to say, they know it because I wear my emotions like I wear makeup…all the time and all over my face); but it’s always them first. Their needs are paramount and I will set mine aside in a minute for them.  Not in the spoiling sense but in the you need this more than I do or I’m the grownup and that’s my job kind of way.

For example, I didn’t watch anything that wasn’t animated until the kids were in bed when they were little.  We watch a lot of TV but it was always their shows and not ours.  I remember watching re-runs of Friends once they got a little older and thinking, “Dang…has this show always been this risque?”  I hadn’t seen the show in years and I was amazed at how your perception changes after kids.

We never took a vacation without our children.  We went for weekends away from time to time but never a vacation.  We did all that before they were born.  I wanted to see things through their eyes.

I didn’t read a book until they were about 10 or 12 years old.  There was no time!  Occasionally I would squeeze in a book or two during bathroom time.  It took me years to finish Harry Potter when my son was reading it because I had to read it in such small doses.  (And yes…I am guilty of hiding in the bathroom from time to time…who isn’t?)

I also didn’t see a live action movie until they were old enough to go with me.  Why waste the money on a grown-up movie for two, when you can spend the same amount on a matinee for 5?  Plus, I love Disney and Pixar.

So it’s established – I’m a mom and I love it.

Except when the phenomena happens. 

Why is it that I can be gone all day working, leaving the house at the crack of dawn and not getting home until after 7, but when I walk through the door I am instantly “on duty”?  It’s truly insane.  What is it about a mom that dictates two, completely full-time and all consuming jobs, is your destiny?  Why is there a double standard that let men “get off work” and women simply transition to their second job?

Now that the kids are older I don’t really notice it as much.  Yes, I wonder why they wait until I walk through the door to ask a question when their father has been home the entire day.  Yes, I wonder why they wait until just before I’m about to go to bed to announce that they need something for the next day.  But overall, things have lightened up quite a bit.

But boy that Mom Thing has a long memory.  We are watching my friend’s 6 year old while she’s away on business.  This kid is wonderful.  He’s quiet and obedient and a joy to have in our home.  Plus I just love the hell out of him.  However, I come rolling through the door last night about 7:30 pm and all eyes turn to me!  I’m expected to get his teeth brushed and get him to bed.  No one said anything and all I had to do was ask for help but I was really taken aback at the feeling in the room.  Mom’s home!  She’ll take care of EVERYTHING.

So I went on strike.  I let go of all control and went into my room and did 40 minutes of yoga (it wasn’t completely guilt free but it was good).  By the time I came out, my minature houseguest had his pj’s on and was almost in bed.  I kissed him goodnight and tucked him in and off he went to dreamland.

Letting go is good…even if it’s letting go of The Mom Thing.

So...what do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s