Beach Envy

Ocean City, Maryland looking north. The photographer sold this photo to ABC and it appears on the wall in a police station, in an episode of Criminal Minds, season 6, called “J J”.

A long weekend will begin about half way through the work day for me today and, of course, it has me remembering other long weekends. 

Long weekends in the summer meant a trip to the beach with all of the other insane people in MD.  We looked like lemmings heading to the sea, who changed our minds and decided to park it on the sand and stay awhile.  In spite of the insanity of it all, I’d give just about anything to be headed to the beach this weekend.  Uh-oh…I think I just made myself homesick.

I never visited the ocean when I was a kid because my parents were a train wreck and driving in a car for 90 minutes together would have meant a lot of arguing and fighting and beer drinking on my dad’s part.  Plus it was expensive. So our “beach” was the shore of the Chesapeake Bay.  I loved it and still do.  But there’s something about the ocean that calls to me and renews me and brings me peace.


The hubs introduced me to my ocean and early in our relationship we headed to the beach at every opportunity.  That’s where I first told him I loved him.  That’s where I discovered how beautiful a sunset could be over the Bay and how you really shouldn’t mix sun and booze if you want to go out to dinner later.  That’s where I always had to buy a sweatshirt because I could never remember that after you’ve been in the sun all day, it’s cold as hell in the evening at the ocean.

We didn’t go to the beach much when the kids were really little because I just didn’t want to deal.  But after they got a little older, we would rent a condo for a week or a long weekend and take them every chance we got.  They still remember those times as some of the best of their lives.  I remember that too.  I also remember that the hubs and I would sit on the balcony or the porch and talk for hours.  I really miss talking to him like that.

Another sigh…

Then we moved to the shore and my dream house and we avoided the beach in the summer like the plague because who wants to hang with shoebies when you can head there anytime?  Result?  We hardly ever went to the beach.  Sad but true.  But it was nice to be able to get there quickly in the spring, fall and winter. And we would pop up there for date night, or lunch with the boys or to just walk on the shore. No crowds, gorgeous, uninterrupted sand, cool (cold) wind in the face and then maybe hot chocolate later.  Mmmmm….

Big inhale…sigh…

So this weekend, which coincidentally is my twins’ 17th birthday, I will be landlocked.  It’s my 5th year landlocked and I think it’s starting to get to me.  The first two years I drank away the weekend and so I don’t really remember missing my ocean.  The last two years I was hanging on by my acrylic nails just to get through the weekend without jonesing for a drink – so I didn’t think too much about my ocean.

But for some reason, this weekend has me REALLY wanting to get to the shore.  I just need to breathe some salt air and listen to the waves crash at night with the windows open.  I need to feel the breeze (wind) in the evening when I walk on the beach and pick up shells.  I want to see my kids on the beach again and I want to see if my dogs even like the ocean.  I want to see what sober beach loving is like.  I think it will be amazing.

So if I hit the lottery between now and Monday, you’ll know where to find me.

“Come walk with me, take off your shoes, let’s walk the beach with only the moon to light the path and the waves to hear you tell me you love me.”  ~  J. Hensen

4 thoughts on “Beach Envy

  1. You show your roots by saying “go to the shore”…LOL. We are close to Lake Michigan, which is beautiful with the sunsets, etc, but nothing beats the ocean.

    Years ago, my son was in an expensive rehab in California. I flew out, rented a car, and we drove down Hwy 1 from Newport Beach to San Diego. I will have that memory forever in my heart.

    Enjoy being home–the peace, the family, the sobriety.

  2. I understand your longing and wish wholeheartedly that you get the opportunity to go to the beach *hugs*

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