|I love Calvin and Hobbs.|
Oh for the love of all that is holy – when will these damn cravings stop! I promise that I’m excited about this journey…I really am but…seriously? These cravings are killing me! (Atkins said they would leave after 4 days…Lou said 4 weeks…guess we know who’s NOT blowing smoke up my ass.)
I’ve been feeling REALLY good since last Friday. Lots of energy, renewed focus, no hunger (in fact I have to remember to eat), no crashes, no yawning and getting sleepy during the day, and only a few, breathe deeply and they go away, cravings. I didn’t even mind the scale doing it’s little yo-yo thing instead of going down everyday. This ain’t my first dance with the scale…it’s just a number.
And I am almost completely out of pain for the first time in probably five years. You have no idea what I’ve been through with my body (okay – maybe you have a little idea since I tend to bitch about it here from time to time). The alcohol and carbs actually created a Rheumatoid Arthritis scare a few years ago. The inflammation in my body was so bad I could barely move. I can remember sitting in bed trying to pick up a wine glass and having to use the wrists of both hands to pick it up and drink it…um…yeah…that was hard to admit. I saw lots of doctors and got lots of pitying looks. I Googled the hell out of every symptom. Eventually the really bad symptoms went away as fast as they came.
But even after it passed and I quit drinking, I spent two more years dealing with pain. I wasn’t sleeping because my hips and legs hurt so bad. Advil and Advil PM became my best friend…not to mention my old standby Excedrin.
I thought I had fibromyalgia. The doctor’s mentioned Lupus. When I learned I had Psoriasis, I concluded that the pain must have been a Psoriatic Arthritis flare. (Told you I was Googling.) No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t keep up any kind of exercise routine (not even yoga) because the recovery from just one day was too much. I was so depressed because I couldn’t figure out what was causing it so I couldn’t make it stop.
I am now virtually pain free with energy. Cardio here I come. I’m dusting off all my Kathy Smith and Karen Voight DVD’s (and tapes…yes I still have tapes) and I’m going to SWEAT.
If I could just stop the CRAVINGS… They came back yesterday with a vengenance and it’s pissing me off.
I’m working on 20-25 carb grams a day for now. It’s REALLY low because this is the detox phase. I only have six more days in this phase. This is the part where I usually quit. This is the part where I start second guessing why I’m doing this. This is the part where I start rationalizing.
This part and I have met before. We are well acquainted. We used to be best friends. We are now mortal enemies. (And I do mean mortal cause this shit is going to kill me.)
Recognizing it and knowing it doesn’t make the fight any easier.
Sigh…I’m done whining for now. I only have one more thing to say.
Fuck you carbs. (That’s for you Lou…and me.)