Monday Musings

I love me some Calvin and Hobbes..plus, this is my mood today.

I’m stuck.  I’ve made it through my mom and dad in my Step Four work but now my sister’s up to bat…Lord how I’ve been avoiding this.  I originally dedicated the weekend to working on it because it’s not something I wanted to do during lunch or on breaks at work.  I know it’s going to be ugly and that I’ll likely be in an ugly mood for awhile when I’m done so I thought doing it at home would be best.  Except that I didn’t.

And the funny thing is I didn’t even try to rationalize it away or pretend I was too busy or anything…I was fully aware that I was avoiding it and so I did.  Progress right?

Sigh…but it isn’t going to go away and I know that this one is the one that will help me to get better the most.  The woman is vile.  She is evil personified.  But she is also sick and a product of the same environment that did so much damage to me.  But, and this is a big BUT, since I’m pretty sure the statute of limitations runs out on parental crime about the time you turn 25, she’s got no real defense for all that ugliness and hatred she carries around.  Hmmm…this is going to be interesting if I ever get around to doing it.

On a brighter note…my son participated in the All State Chorus Concert this weekend.  He had to try out and was the only one from his high school who made it.  THEY WERE AMAZING.  I’m talking bring tears to your eyes and even cry with goosebumps popping out all over good.  If you ever get an opportunity to go and listen to one of these things do not pass it up.  These kids rock it all the hell over the place.

Another bright note.  Granddaughters’ Cheer Squad took first place in a huge competition this weekend with the two of them also earning accolades for individual work.  Oh and ahem…did I mention that my daughter is the coach of the aforementioned squad?  Yeah…that’s right…she rocks too!

Did some yard work this weekend too.  Not too much since we still have a threat of frost (southeastern US) but I did manage to mulch some trees, do some weeding and move some ground cover.  We also took the railing off our porch.  It’s ground level and when I moved in I asked them to put the railing on because I thought it looked more “southern”.  But then I added furniture and realized it was WAY too narrow for the railing AND furniture.  5 years later and I finally had my husband and the boys take it down (I could have done it myself…in fact I had to show them how…but why do what would be difficult for me when I have strapping men that WANT to make it happen?). 

It looks amazing.  It improves the feng shui so much because it’s not blocking the windows and now you can actually sit on the porch, stretch out your legs and even get up and go to the bathroom without feeling like you’re in a movie theatre.  It’s kind of cool how you can take something away and it makes things infinitely better…you know…like removing alcohol from my life and making it a whole lot better. 

Too bad I can’t learn when to shut up.  My BFF was over this weekend and she’s been hanging out at eHarmony with limited success.  She always starts perusing the site when she’s over and starts talking about how there are no options out there and I always have to add my two cents when I should just shut the hell up!  This is not my life it’s hers and the choices she makes are hers and not mine.  But when she complains that there is no one out there and then starts talking about what I consider the silliest things to use to discount a potential friend or lover, it ends up making me crazy.  Now boys and girls, let’s focus on the operative part of that sentence, “things I consider silly”…that’s the part where I need to learn to shut up.  Doesn’t matter what I think now does it?  I’m going to call a truce in this regard and ask that we just don’t talk about her dating life anymore.  I hate feeling like I’ve overstepped my bounds and obsessing over whether or not I made her feel bad or embarrased her in front of anyone.  No more talking about people with penis’.  (What exactly is the plural for penis?)  Well, unless we’re talking about our families that is – we got a lot of penis’ in our families…

My wonderful husband’s birthday is Wednesday and because of baseball practices and games around here, the celebration we were going to have on Friday is turning into a bust.  Sunday is likely out for the same reason and Weds night my oldest will be at college (he comes home on the weekends).  Sigh…oh wait…maybe I should ask HIM what HE wants?  Yeah…that might work. 

Ran into the trash can on the way out of the driveway this morning.  No damage but I hope there weren’t any kids within earshot cause the expletives flew for a short time.

Meeting tonight and I know a conversation with my sponsor…maybe she can shed some light or give me some suggestions on my step work.

Have a wonderful Monday everyone!

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3 thoughts on “Monday Musings

  1. Maybe your friend wants your feedback? I can't imagine why she'd pull up eharmony in front of you and not expect to hear what you think. Now whether or not she'll take your good advice…

    Good luck with step 4…sounds very challenging but it's got to be good to let those feelings out.

    Also, pretty sure it's penises, but don't quote me on that 😉

  2. Its penises but it looks weird doesn't it? If I saw that word written somewhere (out of context of course) I would think it was something other than the plural of penis.

    Talking about a dating life with another female can be tricky. I HATE dating sites, but in the past few years that is the only way I've found to meet men. Maybe 1 our of 50 are okay, and I am not picky! I am so not picky about the little things! I would like a man who is intelligent and can carry on a conversation and can use proper grammar and spelling on simple words that 4th graders should be able to spell. I'd like a guy that does not make sexual innuendos in his profile or ask me questions like “do like role playing during sex?” Sure buddy, I can tell you're really into getting to KNOW ME. Then you run across guys in their 50's that won't date women over 30. What EVER.

    Oops, I'm sorry Here I Am Talking About Me on YOUR blog 🙂 You hit a topic that sets me off everytime!!!!

  3. 🙂 Penises . . . Frequently found on dating sites. I can only imagine as I would rather go without than look on-line.
    I hope you get on with your “steps” ok . . . I don't know much about AA N/A, only what I've picked up on these blogs but the 4th step seems like a biggy.
    You must be so proud of your children/grandchildren x

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